Mighty Genghis Khan - the Sequel!
The Tenth Doctor was in tears.
"I don't understand it," he babbled, "I just did my usual routine, and then Genghis ordered Strax to slap me and then he unleashed the laser monkeys." With that, the tears flooded out so fast a large puddle was forming beside the TARDIS console. Any more water and the console's wires would be in danger.
"There there old chap," commented the Third Doctor, patting his newer self awkwardly on the back. "I'm sure they didn't mean you any harm."
"Well what if they did? How come you're so tactful?"
"Let's see. What's most important?" asked the Third Doctor, his white bouffant shaking slightly as he quizzed Tenny.
"Uh....Rose?" he answered hopefully.
"Wrong," retorted the Third Doctor whilst wagging his finger like a headmaster admonishing naughty but well meaning school-boys. "It's really your inner space which is most important!"
"Really?"
"Yes. Men may go shooting off to outer space but it's really their inner space which matters most," he instructed.
"How do you know all this?" asked Tenny.
"Look it's simple really. I'm sure I'm not the only one who likes to be adventurous at mealtimes. Tell you what old chap, lets go back to meet the Khan again and I'll show you what to do."
***
Through a small flap in the tent, the mighty Genghis Khan watched as the TARDIS rematerialised. Hmmm, he thought to himself, the Doctor must be brave to come back. And he really needed to get the flap stitched back up. It would be winter soon and it would let all the cold air in.
Strax, the Khan's Consul of War, appeared to tell his lord about the Time Lord's arrival. However, as I have just narrated, Genghis had already seen this happen. Together they peered through the flap and were surprised to see an older, white haired incarnation of the Doctor appear, closing the doors behind him with his large brown hands. He was carrying something. But what?
***
The war loving duo emerged from the Khan's tent to greet this newcomer.
"I salute thee, the almighty Strax. And the all conquering Khan. I am most humbled by your presence," kowtowed the Third Doctor, with the Tenth incarnation watching safely from the TARDIS on the scanner.
"What have you got?" asked Strax, steering at the Time Lord's bowl. Inside were strange, whiteish looking things, about 2 inches long and rather curly. "Are they death worms? Have you come to poison the Khan?"
"On the contrary dear fellow," he smiled. "I bring thee a present. Deep fried mushroom. I believe they are a delicacy around these parts."
"Are they homecooked?" inquired Strax, as Genghis tried one. It was delicious!!! It was like an orgasm in the mouth. It was the most yummy thing he had ever tasted.
"They are," confirmed the Doctor.
"How much did it cost?"
"Not much. Certainly not the earth."
"Well then," declared a happy Genghis Khan, "I know I'm getting the best of all worlds. Strax, crack open the good stuff!"
Strax waddled off to a smaller side tent, and returned holding a lovely bottle of Sontaran Rice Wine. On the TARDIS scanner, The Tenth Doctor watched on ruefully as his earlier incarnation, Strax and the Mighty Genghis Khan partied. As the time wore on, they started boogieing, with Strax doing a particularly fine twerk. As dusk struck, a space ship arrived, and Alpha Centauri joined in the festivities. She too twerked joyfully. Tenny was sad.
***
And the moral of the story is simple. Follow the doctrine of the Jon Pertwee Recipe Book and you will have a good time. Don't be like the Tenth Doctor. Be like Jon Pertwee. Know that it's your inner space that matters most. Be adventurous at mealtimes. Have lovely home cooked meals which don't cost the earth. And do try deep fried mushroom. It's marvellous!
"I don't understand it," he babbled, "I just did my usual routine, and then Genghis ordered Strax to slap me and then he unleashed the laser monkeys." With that, the tears flooded out so fast a large puddle was forming beside the TARDIS console. Any more water and the console's wires would be in danger.
"There there old chap," commented the Third Doctor, patting his newer self awkwardly on the back. "I'm sure they didn't mean you any harm."
"Well what if they did? How come you're so tactful?"
"Let's see. What's most important?" asked the Third Doctor, his white bouffant shaking slightly as he quizzed Tenny.
"Uh....Rose?" he answered hopefully.
"Wrong," retorted the Third Doctor whilst wagging his finger like a headmaster admonishing naughty but well meaning school-boys. "It's really your inner space which is most important!"
"Really?"
"Yes. Men may go shooting off to outer space but it's really their inner space which matters most," he instructed.
"How do you know all this?" asked Tenny.
"Look it's simple really. I'm sure I'm not the only one who likes to be adventurous at mealtimes. Tell you what old chap, lets go back to meet the Khan again and I'll show you what to do."
***
Through a small flap in the tent, the mighty Genghis Khan watched as the TARDIS rematerialised. Hmmm, he thought to himself, the Doctor must be brave to come back. And he really needed to get the flap stitched back up. It would be winter soon and it would let all the cold air in.
Strax, the Khan's Consul of War, appeared to tell his lord about the Time Lord's arrival. However, as I have just narrated, Genghis had already seen this happen. Together they peered through the flap and were surprised to see an older, white haired incarnation of the Doctor appear, closing the doors behind him with his large brown hands. He was carrying something. But what?
***
The war loving duo emerged from the Khan's tent to greet this newcomer.
"I salute thee, the almighty Strax. And the all conquering Khan. I am most humbled by your presence," kowtowed the Third Doctor, with the Tenth incarnation watching safely from the TARDIS on the scanner.
"What have you got?" asked Strax, steering at the Time Lord's bowl. Inside were strange, whiteish looking things, about 2 inches long and rather curly. "Are they death worms? Have you come to poison the Khan?"
"On the contrary dear fellow," he smiled. "I bring thee a present. Deep fried mushroom. I believe they are a delicacy around these parts."
"Are they homecooked?" inquired Strax, as Genghis tried one. It was delicious!!! It was like an orgasm in the mouth. It was the most yummy thing he had ever tasted.
"They are," confirmed the Doctor.
"How much did it cost?"
"Not much. Certainly not the earth."
"Well then," declared a happy Genghis Khan, "I know I'm getting the best of all worlds. Strax, crack open the good stuff!"
Strax waddled off to a smaller side tent, and returned holding a lovely bottle of Sontaran Rice Wine. On the TARDIS scanner, The Tenth Doctor watched on ruefully as his earlier incarnation, Strax and the Mighty Genghis Khan partied. As the time wore on, they started boogieing, with Strax doing a particularly fine twerk. As dusk struck, a space ship arrived, and Alpha Centauri joined in the festivities. She too twerked joyfully. Tenny was sad.
***
And the moral of the story is simple. Follow the doctrine of the Jon Pertwee Recipe Book and you will have a good time. Don't be like the Tenth Doctor. Be like Jon Pertwee. Know that it's your inner space that matters most. Be adventurous at mealtimes. Have lovely home cooked meals which don't cost the earth. And do try deep fried mushroom. It's marvellous!