Mighty Genghis Khan
The Doctor stared ahead. He was standing inside his
TARDIS, wearing his trademarked dark blue suit and long brown overcoat. He
looked ahead at the hologram of his true love, Rose. She had travelled with him
but was now stranded in a parallel universe. Although alone in the console room,
the Doctor still checked to make sure that nobody was around, then stepped
forward and snogged the hologram Rose.
"I love you," he whispered.
The hologram slowly disappeared and Rose faded back into her parallel universe. This made the Doctor sad. As sad as a dog who had her food stolen by a wicked cat. The Doctor began to cry. He made sure that his pose was the sexiest pose that he could muster. Girls love sexy crying. He flicked a switch on the TARDIS console, turning on a sprinkler. Now he was sexy crying in the rain. Perfect!
***
The Consul of War approached the Lord's tent and bowed before the guard.
"I wish to speak to the mighty Khan," declared the Consul.
The guard reciprocated the bow, and stepped aside, allowing the Consul of War to enter.
"Ah, Strax, my dear Consul. How goes it?" asked the mightiest man to have walked the earth (i.e., Genghis Khan).
"Exciting news, Uncle Genghis," replied Strax the sontaran, who was now the Consul of War for the Mighty Genghis Khan. "The Doctor has arrived. His blue box, the TARDIS," (for the TARDIS, Strax lighted his tiny hands and did that quotation marks gesture), "has been sighted 100 metres away from our current camp. Shall I melt him in acid?"
"No, dear Strax, that won't be necessary," said Khan.
"Well then, shall I get a hoard of angry peasants to attack him with burning sticks?"
"No."
"How about..." thought Strax, "how about we use our top secret Mongolian nuclear missile?"
"Maybe it is better if we talk to him first," decided Genghis Khan. With that, he rose, and stepped outside, quickly followed by the Consul of War.
***
The Doctor closed the TARDIS door.
"Allonsy," he said aloud, though he was alone. He's the Lonely God, remember? He approached the encampment. Out of the largest tent walked Genghis Khan and a sontaran.
"What?"
Genghis was grim faced.
"What?" A close up of his face.
Still, Genghis and his advisor were stony faced. By now, they were 10 meters away from the Doctor.
"What?" An extreme close up, close enough to see his nostrils flare as he spoke his annoying catchphrase.
"Strax, slap that insidious man!" ordered Genghis Khan.
"With pleasure my lord."
*insert random facial gurning from the Doctor here*
Strax stepped forward, did a slight bow before the Doctor, took off his right glove and slapped the Doctor.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," apologised the Doctor.
"Strax..." began Genghis.
"Yes, my lord?"
"Unleash the laser monkeys!"
With that order, Strax reached into his back pocket and removed what looked like a small grenade. He pulled the tab and chucked it high in the air. When it reached the tip of its arc, its shell opened, revealing the laser monkeys. Seven, faintly glowing miniature monkeys landed, shooting lasers out of their eyes, mouths, nostrils and fingernails. One laser bolt hit the Doctor on the shin.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," he cried and turned to run. He sprinted back towards the TARDIS, with the laser monkeys in close pursuit. Every few seconds he let out another welp of pain as more laser bolts hit his legs. Finally he reached the safety of the TARDIS. As the blue box dematerialised, Genghis Khan and his trusty advisor Strax laughed maniacally.
"I love you," he whispered.
The hologram slowly disappeared and Rose faded back into her parallel universe. This made the Doctor sad. As sad as a dog who had her food stolen by a wicked cat. The Doctor began to cry. He made sure that his pose was the sexiest pose that he could muster. Girls love sexy crying. He flicked a switch on the TARDIS console, turning on a sprinkler. Now he was sexy crying in the rain. Perfect!
***
The Consul of War approached the Lord's tent and bowed before the guard.
"I wish to speak to the mighty Khan," declared the Consul.
The guard reciprocated the bow, and stepped aside, allowing the Consul of War to enter.
"Ah, Strax, my dear Consul. How goes it?" asked the mightiest man to have walked the earth (i.e., Genghis Khan).
"Exciting news, Uncle Genghis," replied Strax the sontaran, who was now the Consul of War for the Mighty Genghis Khan. "The Doctor has arrived. His blue box, the TARDIS," (for the TARDIS, Strax lighted his tiny hands and did that quotation marks gesture), "has been sighted 100 metres away from our current camp. Shall I melt him in acid?"
"No, dear Strax, that won't be necessary," said Khan.
"Well then, shall I get a hoard of angry peasants to attack him with burning sticks?"
"No."
"How about..." thought Strax, "how about we use our top secret Mongolian nuclear missile?"
"Maybe it is better if we talk to him first," decided Genghis Khan. With that, he rose, and stepped outside, quickly followed by the Consul of War.
***
The Doctor closed the TARDIS door.
"Allonsy," he said aloud, though he was alone. He's the Lonely God, remember? He approached the encampment. Out of the largest tent walked Genghis Khan and a sontaran.
"What?"
Genghis was grim faced.
"What?" A close up of his face.
Still, Genghis and his advisor were stony faced. By now, they were 10 meters away from the Doctor.
"What?" An extreme close up, close enough to see his nostrils flare as he spoke his annoying catchphrase.
"Strax, slap that insidious man!" ordered Genghis Khan.
"With pleasure my lord."
*insert random facial gurning from the Doctor here*
Strax stepped forward, did a slight bow before the Doctor, took off his right glove and slapped the Doctor.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," apologised the Doctor.
"Strax..." began Genghis.
"Yes, my lord?"
"Unleash the laser monkeys!"
With that order, Strax reached into his back pocket and removed what looked like a small grenade. He pulled the tab and chucked it high in the air. When it reached the tip of its arc, its shell opened, revealing the laser monkeys. Seven, faintly glowing miniature monkeys landed, shooting lasers out of their eyes, mouths, nostrils and fingernails. One laser bolt hit the Doctor on the shin.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," he cried and turned to run. He sprinted back towards the TARDIS, with the laser monkeys in close pursuit. Every few seconds he let out another welp of pain as more laser bolts hit his legs. Finally he reached the safety of the TARDIS. As the blue box dematerialised, Genghis Khan and his trusty advisor Strax laughed maniacally.