The Funeral
Dr Who contemplated spanking Ronda Rousey. He decided against it. She would probably break his arm if he tried. So no spanking today. He thought back longingly to the days of his sixth incarnation when he would participate in ritual spankings with his favourite companion Mel Bush, from Pease Pottage. How he missed that. He sighed.
"What you did was wrong, Ronda," he scolded whilst holding up a finger like a school principal would to a well meaning but errant schoolboy.
"I'm sorry," said Ronda with her head down in shame. In our previous adventure, she had brutally murdered Meat Stack. His remains lay behind her, smelling like a sausage that was left out in the sun too long on a hot summery day.
"You are grounded until further notice!"
"Ok," said Ronda, who turned and entered her room.
Now the Doctor had a funeral to arrange...
***
An unfortunate man was about to hang himself. He paused, unable to do the terrible deed. He wished there was another way. Suddenly, the whirring noise that announced the appearance of the TARDIS filled his house. He turned his head in wonder as a blue Police Box materialised. The door opened, and the man's old sparring partner Dr Who smiled back at him.
"Chris, I need your help," said the Doctor.
"Coming, Doctor," replied Chris Benoit, leaving behind his makeshift noose and followed the Doctor.
***
Arthur Dent is a bit of a ****er. He gives space travellers a bad name. Somebody who is a good space traveller is Sabalom Glitz. Just like the sixth incarnation of the Doctor, Sabalom Glitz enjoys spanking sessions with Mel Bush, who used to be his companion too. Alas, Mel fell in love with a giant snail and Glitz was alone. Glitzy was sitting alone in an alien bar, drinking shots of Pepsi and milk and cursing his ill-fortune. Behind him, a mystery man with a large wooden hammer approached and hit Sabalom over the head with it. When he woke up, Glitz was in the TARDIS.
***
I won't bore you with further boring details, but the Doctor also picked up a sexy Japanese girl, Doraemon, Idi Amin and a French Mime.
***
The TARDIS landed on a mist filled plain. The doors opened, and the Doctor was the first to exit. Behind him, Chris Benoit, Sablaom Glitz, Kana, Doraemon, Idi and Philippe walked solemnly, carrying a coffin containing Meat Stack. They arrived at the pyre that Dr Who had built before he went to collect his six closest friends. They would say their farewells to Meat Stack, then have a barbecue. A funeral and dinner combined!! The Doctor was such a genius!! They lay the body inside, and Peter Capaldi reached inside his jacket for his lighter.
At that moment, the locals attacked!!.....
***
Inside the TARDIS, Ronda Rousey turned on her computer. It wasn't really her computer; it was just an old computer in her adopted bedroom. She waited patiently for it to load. Its menu was confusing. She couldn't find the icon for the Internet. She guessed it probably had some bizarre space name, so Ronda decided to click on each icon in an attempt to find it. The third one that she clicked opened a file of pictures. Curiously, she clicked on one.
"EWWWWWWWW," moaned Ronda Rousey. The picture was an upskirt of Alpha Centauri. She clicked the next picture. Another dirty pic of the hexapod hermaphrodite. And another. And another........
Ronda wondered what kind of perverted individual would take and store such disgusting photographs of a Galactic Ambassador. She closed the naughty file, and clicked the next icon. The internet opened.
"Welcome back Adric," said the computer's internet explorer. So Adric was the creep, thought Ronda. She typed in 'current location' into the search box. The reply startled her.
Skaro.
She had to warn the Doctor.
***
The Doctor and his gang were all tied up. Davros was laughing like somebody who had just inhaled a large dose of laughing gas. He pointed both his hands at the Doctor, and doubled back in laughter. Daleks surrounded the prisoners.
The TARDIS opened once more and Ronda Rousey approached them. Daleks fired their extermination beams at her. Nothing happened. It would take more than that to take down Ronda. She raced up to Davros, and put his left arm into an arm bar.
"Let the Doctor go," she ordered.
"NOOOOOOO," cried Davros inbetweens yelps of pain. Suddenly, he felt his arm snap from the pressure. It came loose. She had arm barred him so bad his arm came off. Ronda Rousey looked at the arm she was know holding. She used it to slap Davros. He fainted from the pain. On his control panel on his mobility device she noticed a Dalek Self Destruct button. It was red. She pushed it. All the nearby Daleks exploded.
Ronda untied Dr Who and his friends. They returned to the TARDIS and continued on their merry way.
Back on Skaro, something strange happened. Meat Stack felt energy flowing through him. Was he in the afterlife? No. He opened his eyes, and saw a one armed prune face guy tending to his injuries. Davros had revived him. Now Meat Stack would spend the rest of life life devoted to serving him
"What you did was wrong, Ronda," he scolded whilst holding up a finger like a school principal would to a well meaning but errant schoolboy.
"I'm sorry," said Ronda with her head down in shame. In our previous adventure, she had brutally murdered Meat Stack. His remains lay behind her, smelling like a sausage that was left out in the sun too long on a hot summery day.
"You are grounded until further notice!"
"Ok," said Ronda, who turned and entered her room.
Now the Doctor had a funeral to arrange...
***
An unfortunate man was about to hang himself. He paused, unable to do the terrible deed. He wished there was another way. Suddenly, the whirring noise that announced the appearance of the TARDIS filled his house. He turned his head in wonder as a blue Police Box materialised. The door opened, and the man's old sparring partner Dr Who smiled back at him.
"Chris, I need your help," said the Doctor.
"Coming, Doctor," replied Chris Benoit, leaving behind his makeshift noose and followed the Doctor.
***
Arthur Dent is a bit of a ****er. He gives space travellers a bad name. Somebody who is a good space traveller is Sabalom Glitz. Just like the sixth incarnation of the Doctor, Sabalom Glitz enjoys spanking sessions with Mel Bush, who used to be his companion too. Alas, Mel fell in love with a giant snail and Glitz was alone. Glitzy was sitting alone in an alien bar, drinking shots of Pepsi and milk and cursing his ill-fortune. Behind him, a mystery man with a large wooden hammer approached and hit Sabalom over the head with it. When he woke up, Glitz was in the TARDIS.
***
I won't bore you with further boring details, but the Doctor also picked up a sexy Japanese girl, Doraemon, Idi Amin and a French Mime.
***
The TARDIS landed on a mist filled plain. The doors opened, and the Doctor was the first to exit. Behind him, Chris Benoit, Sablaom Glitz, Kana, Doraemon, Idi and Philippe walked solemnly, carrying a coffin containing Meat Stack. They arrived at the pyre that Dr Who had built before he went to collect his six closest friends. They would say their farewells to Meat Stack, then have a barbecue. A funeral and dinner combined!! The Doctor was such a genius!! They lay the body inside, and Peter Capaldi reached inside his jacket for his lighter.
At that moment, the locals attacked!!.....
***
Inside the TARDIS, Ronda Rousey turned on her computer. It wasn't really her computer; it was just an old computer in her adopted bedroom. She waited patiently for it to load. Its menu was confusing. She couldn't find the icon for the Internet. She guessed it probably had some bizarre space name, so Ronda decided to click on each icon in an attempt to find it. The third one that she clicked opened a file of pictures. Curiously, she clicked on one.
"EWWWWWWWW," moaned Ronda Rousey. The picture was an upskirt of Alpha Centauri. She clicked the next picture. Another dirty pic of the hexapod hermaphrodite. And another. And another........
Ronda wondered what kind of perverted individual would take and store such disgusting photographs of a Galactic Ambassador. She closed the naughty file, and clicked the next icon. The internet opened.
"Welcome back Adric," said the computer's internet explorer. So Adric was the creep, thought Ronda. She typed in 'current location' into the search box. The reply startled her.
Skaro.
She had to warn the Doctor.
***
The Doctor and his gang were all tied up. Davros was laughing like somebody who had just inhaled a large dose of laughing gas. He pointed both his hands at the Doctor, and doubled back in laughter. Daleks surrounded the prisoners.
The TARDIS opened once more and Ronda Rousey approached them. Daleks fired their extermination beams at her. Nothing happened. It would take more than that to take down Ronda. She raced up to Davros, and put his left arm into an arm bar.
"Let the Doctor go," she ordered.
"NOOOOOOO," cried Davros inbetweens yelps of pain. Suddenly, he felt his arm snap from the pressure. It came loose. She had arm barred him so bad his arm came off. Ronda Rousey looked at the arm she was know holding. She used it to slap Davros. He fainted from the pain. On his control panel on his mobility device she noticed a Dalek Self Destruct button. It was red. She pushed it. All the nearby Daleks exploded.
Ronda untied Dr Who and his friends. They returned to the TARDIS and continued on their merry way.
Back on Skaro, something strange happened. Meat Stack felt energy flowing through him. Was he in the afterlife? No. He opened his eyes, and saw a one armed prune face guy tending to his injuries. Davros had revived him. Now Meat Stack would spend the rest of life life devoted to serving him