Dalek Leef
Dalek Leef sighed. He weakened the magnetic pull of his sucker, letting his pen drop onto the desk. Leef reversed slightly and turned his eyestalk towards the window to his left. As he gazed out at the green sky on the planet Naheya he thought back to his earlier days.
Leef recalled his first mission as a junior Dalek cadet. He was part of the third Dalek battalion that invaded Honder Minor. Now that was a battle! Nothing like what the young whippersnappers of today have to deal with. There were no hot showers and a scrubbing after a day’s fighting. Oh no! Leef and his comrades were left there in the mud, with enemy spleen and intestines sticking to their casing, and only once a week were
they were allowed back to be hosed down with ice cold water. They were bred tough back in his day. And they didn’t have inbuilt flying discs like today’s generation. They had to make do with good ol’ fashioned hoverbouts which didn’t work after a day as enemy blood seeped in and fused the electronics. But Leef survived. The Daleks won the battle, and Leef returned to Skaro a champion.
This memory flowed onto subsequent battles – Neida…Shinhua…the Kortron Ice Caves….each followed by a victory parade back on Skaro. But it wasn’t just battles that Leef was involved in. Eventually his exceptional bravery was noticed and he was enlisted into the Dalek SSC (Secret Space Corps). He thought back to some of his missions. He remembered living for a year on the planet Wutasi, hunting down numerous Earth scouting parties. And the incident at the Grassy Knoll – yes it was Dalek Leef who fired that extra shot!
There was no other way of putting it. Leef is a Dalek hero. He’s a role model for young Daleks all over the Third Dalek Empire. He’d be the one on posters adorning the walls of child Daleks everywhere (that is if they had posters. Unfortunately they don’t. Their rooms all follow the standard white featureless design approach.) One could almost imagine a smile forming on Leef’s blobby mutinous body as he reflected on his
glittering career.
But that was all a long time ago. His reaction time slowed down, his eyesight got worse. He had to admit he wasn’t as fast as he used to be. It was time to move on and leave the high-risk environment to younger, fitter daleks. An old friend from his academy days found him a nice job in the bureaucracy, and with that Leef became the Dalek Governor on the Planet Naheya. It wasn’t a bad job, and the Naheyans were a good species. They were small, pink and a face reminiscent of a rabbit. They had three eyes, long floppy ears and a tiny nose. Very peaceful, they surrendered immediately and became a Dalek territory. Leef had quickly discovered how to get the best results from the Naheyans. You could shout, use polysyllabic words and threaten to exterminate their pet butterflies, but the Naheyans responded better to kindness and understanding. It wasn’t the Dalek way, but utilising this made Leef’s job a lot easier. One day he hoped to discuss his new age philosophies with the Supreme Dalek in the hope that other dalek governors could adopt it too. With more cooperative subjects it would improve efficiency and contribute towards the betterment of the Third Dalek Empire.
Yes he had a fine job, but his mind kept flicking back to the good ol’ days. Lately his tentacles started tingling at the thought of battle. Sure he was old, but he wanted to see action again. He wanted to feel the thrill of exterminating lesser species. He wanted to feel adrenaline flow around his body as he moved in for the kill. He wanted to be a Dalek Soldier again. Fortunately for Leef, he was in luck.
There was a knock at his door.
“En-ter!” Into the room glided a black dalek with silver spheres. Leef recognised him immediately. It was Jova – the current head of the SSC.
“Hello Jova. How are you?” asked Leef. During his time on Naheya Leef had learned the value of pleasantries, but Jova just stared at him.
“Leef. I need you. The Galactic Federation is getting too powerful. For the sake of the Dalek Empire we need to exterminate their key personnel.” Leef didn’t respond, forcing Jova to continue. “The SSC has selected you for one last mission. You are to exterminate Ambassador Alpha Centauri!”
Inside his casing, Leef was nodding his head. Actually, as he didn’t have a head it was more a case of his whole body shaking around. He had seen this scenario before – the retired professional coming out of retirement for one last job. He once worked undercover as a bar tender in New Zealand for two years (the locals didn’t notice anything unusual about the short bar tender who had a tendency to shout “in-tox-i-cate” at random intervals. If anyone ever asked about his unusual accent he just said he was Hungarian) and in that time he had watched plenty of Earth television. This situation was a familiar plot device and he was excited at the opportunity being presented to him. This was his
chance. One more chance for glory!! Alpha Centauri had to die!
Whilst Dalek Leef formulates his plan, I’ll tell you a little bit about Alpha Centauri. Firstly, Alpha Centauri is not her real name. She was so devoted to representing her solar system that she changed her name to Alpha Centauri (that being the name of the binary star system that she comes from). And she isn’t really a she. She’s a hermaphrodite hexapod, though with attractive features and the high pitched voice it is easier
to think of her as a she. And her appearance? Her head is circular, with one giant eye, flowing from which are several large veins which have increased in size as she has gotten older. Her body is roughly cylindrical, with six tentacles extending from her chest, and over the top half of her body she wears a knitted purple cardigan. She used to wear a cape, but she felt the cold a lot more now that she’s over 140 and the cardigan keeps her warm.
Leef’s plan was simple enough. He had enlisted Fifi, a Naheyan princess, to help him. He always had a suspicion that his kindness would pay off one day. He had convinced her to contact the Galactic Federation to set up a meeting to enquire about whether the Federation could help the Naheyans to expel the Daleks. The Federation, not liking daleks, promptly invited her to their Northern Headquarters for a meeting on the following Tuesday. Tuesday quickly came, and Fifi and Leef boarded the Naheyan spacecraft for the 12 hour journey to Federation HQ. Leef liked Fifi. She didn’t talk much, which allowed him plenty of time to daydream about his past glories. He passed the trip vividly replaying the Battle for Xeon Cluster (a particularly fine battle for Leef – he individually slaughtered over 70 enemy soldiers and led the final, definitive raid. If he were ever to write his autobiography he would devote an entire chapter purely to this fight). As they approached the Head Quarters he focussed on his plan. Fifi would go and have a meeting with some Federation Delegates. While the meeting was taking place, he would stealthily exit the craft and make his way to Alpha Centauri’s living quarters. Once inside he would set his trap and wait.
“Look! There it is!” cried Fifi in a high pitched squeak. It was the first thing she had said all trip. She pointed out of the port side window. Leef looked. He couldn’t believe it. There, floating in space was the Federation Headquarters. A giant, 2km long building sized replica of Alpha Centauri, the gigantic eye staring ominously at all the space activity happening outside. The craft rose and made for a docking bay built into the side of one of the tentacles.
Fifi had been gone twenty minutes. It was time for action. Leef opened the door and made his way through the airlock and onto the space station. He glided forward and turned right at the end of the corridor. The mission called for secrecy. He was not to be seen. He turned another corner and saw a humanoid guard walking towards him. Damn! Before the guard could react Leef had pointed his gun at him and fired. WIIZZZZ! The guard groaned and toppled backwards. I’ve still got it, thought Leef, but now he had to hide the corpse. The last thing he wanted was for it to be discovered and the alarm to be raised. He picked up the body and carried it forwards, round a corner, down the passageway, to the right, left, left and forwards a little bit more until he found a small closet set into the wall. He opened the door and shoved the body inside.
“Halt! Dalek!” Leef looked. There was another guard, laser pistol pointing at him. VWRRRP! He could feel the casing beneath his plunger heat up, but ultimately the shot did nothing. He raised his own gun, directing it at the guard’s heart. The guard fired again, slightly higher this time, but still nothing happened. Leef could see fear in the guard’s eyes now. It made him feel good. He was feeding off that fear. He paused. The guard didn’t move. He waited another second. And another. The guard’s fear was overwhelming now. Then Leef fired. Two minutes later, that body also was hidden away in the closet. Even though he was not supposed to have any emotions, Leef was enjoying this. He had been away from fighting for too long. He had to suppress his desire for more extermination though. He had to return to stealth mode. He expertly navigated the giant sized Alpha Centauri space station, went up several floors and arrived at the living quarters.
He crept down the hall. If Daleks had toes then he would be tiptoeing down the corridor. Unfortunately they don’t so he was gliding along at half power (and half noise). He arrived at a red, fluffy door with AC embroidered into it in purple fur. He raised his plunger over the lock. It required a combination. He went through all possible combinations until it clicked open. Leef glanced at the monitor to see the password. Peladon. Even though Alpha’s missions there ended long ago she still had a soft spot for that planet. The old softy!
Leef entered the room. Alpha’s lounge was circular, with doors leading off to a kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. The lounge was a continuation of the door. Ref fur lined the walls, but they were dominated by pictures and pictures of Alpha Centauri. Alpha Centauri on holiday, Alpha Centauri receiving awards, Alpha Centauri with various Heads of State…..It was Alpha Centauri overload! With all these giant Alpha eyes staring
out at the pictures Leef began to feel as though he was being watched. He saw that Alpha Centauri had left a jug of lemonade on the table. He glided towards it, ready to poison it, but realised he had left the sarin capsule in the rocket. Just then, he heard voices outside. One was high pitched and shrilly. Definitely Alpha Centauri’s. They voices halted outside the door. Any moment Alpha was going to enter. Quickly he moved across the room and into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him, leaving only a little slit for him to see and fire through.
Alpha Centauri entered. She looked left and right and moved towards the lemonade on the table. She was coming into the firing line. Closer….closer…Leef fired. He watched the ray from his gun shoot towards Alpha Centauri. To his astonishment it went straight through and
scorched the wall behind her. The hologram of Alpha vanished and a moment later the door to the bathroom slid shut and locked. Leef mentally cursed. The hexapod must have suspected something. Had Fifi confessed? He could hear Alpha’s (the real Alpha Centauri) loud shrieking from outside the quarters.
“Guards! Guards! Come immediately! There’s an intruder in my room” Leef fired at the lock on the door. Nothing happened. He was trapped. He thought he could hear some heavy breathing coming from the corridor outside. The guards were arriving, and these guards weren’t those feeble humanoids he dealt with earlier. These were Ice Warriors. Sure he could exterminate one or two of them, but eventually he’d be overpowered. A
blaze of glory would be a fine death, but he decided on retreating. Not really retreating he told himself. A strategic withdrawal. His mission was to kill Alpha Centauri. If he survived this then he could complete his mission later. He glided over to the opposite wall. If he was correct then this wall doubled as part of the exterior of the giant Alpha Centauri shaped space station. His casing around his plunger separated and the plunger dropped to the ground. From within his heat powered cutting tool came forward to take its place, and the casing fused back together again around it. Be prepared, he thought. That was the motto of the SSC. Actually their motto was be prepared, and if all else fails exterminate, exterminate, exterminate, but Leef always thought that was too long, especially considering he had it carved onto his casing below his gun (he got the idea from seeing humans getting tattoos of Latin phrases back on Earth). He began cutting a hole in the space station. Slowly at first, but it grew bigger. He could feel the atmosphere around him being sucked out. He continued to cut, and could hear voices in Alpha’s lounge now. If they opened the door to the bathroom then they’d die from oxygen deprivation. A piece of the station fell away, leaving enough of a hole for him to fly through, and he exited, his mission not unsuccessful; merely postponed.
Several floors above, in the eye section of the station, Alpha Centauri was in command. Around her was Commander Valdak (an Ice Lord), and several human technicians sitting at computers. Valdak pointed through the eye at the fleeing dalek.
“And fire…..now!” squealed Alpha Centauri. A technician reached forward and pressed a large red button. The button had been Alpha’s idea. Firing buttons should always be large and red, she had reasoned. With a hiss two missiles were launched, snaking their way towards Leef. In space nobody can hear you scream. Nor can they hear missiles flying towards them. As such, Leef had no idea that his life was about to terminate.
Three….two…one……BANG!!
“Yesssssssssssss,” cried Valdak.
“Got him,” cheered Alpha, giving Valdak a high-five with one of her tentacles. This wasn’t the first attempt on her life. Indeed, there had been many, and as she grew older she began to relish defeating each assassination attempt. And after watching the dusty remains of Leef slowly begin to drift into space she turned around and left the room to get back to her work.
What can I say about Dalek Leef? He was a hero, an inspiration to many daleks scattered about the cosmos. He was brave, determined and committed to the dalek cause. He was well liked and respected among his peers. On the battlefield his fellow soldiers looked up to him like an elder brother or a father. His cheerful countenance helped lift the spirits of many a dalek and Naheya will be a poorer place without him.
RIP Dalek Leef.
Leef recalled his first mission as a junior Dalek cadet. He was part of the third Dalek battalion that invaded Honder Minor. Now that was a battle! Nothing like what the young whippersnappers of today have to deal with. There were no hot showers and a scrubbing after a day’s fighting. Oh no! Leef and his comrades were left there in the mud, with enemy spleen and intestines sticking to their casing, and only once a week were
they were allowed back to be hosed down with ice cold water. They were bred tough back in his day. And they didn’t have inbuilt flying discs like today’s generation. They had to make do with good ol’ fashioned hoverbouts which didn’t work after a day as enemy blood seeped in and fused the electronics. But Leef survived. The Daleks won the battle, and Leef returned to Skaro a champion.
This memory flowed onto subsequent battles – Neida…Shinhua…the Kortron Ice Caves….each followed by a victory parade back on Skaro. But it wasn’t just battles that Leef was involved in. Eventually his exceptional bravery was noticed and he was enlisted into the Dalek SSC (Secret Space Corps). He thought back to some of his missions. He remembered living for a year on the planet Wutasi, hunting down numerous Earth scouting parties. And the incident at the Grassy Knoll – yes it was Dalek Leef who fired that extra shot!
There was no other way of putting it. Leef is a Dalek hero. He’s a role model for young Daleks all over the Third Dalek Empire. He’d be the one on posters adorning the walls of child Daleks everywhere (that is if they had posters. Unfortunately they don’t. Their rooms all follow the standard white featureless design approach.) One could almost imagine a smile forming on Leef’s blobby mutinous body as he reflected on his
glittering career.
But that was all a long time ago. His reaction time slowed down, his eyesight got worse. He had to admit he wasn’t as fast as he used to be. It was time to move on and leave the high-risk environment to younger, fitter daleks. An old friend from his academy days found him a nice job in the bureaucracy, and with that Leef became the Dalek Governor on the Planet Naheya. It wasn’t a bad job, and the Naheyans were a good species. They were small, pink and a face reminiscent of a rabbit. They had three eyes, long floppy ears and a tiny nose. Very peaceful, they surrendered immediately and became a Dalek territory. Leef had quickly discovered how to get the best results from the Naheyans. You could shout, use polysyllabic words and threaten to exterminate their pet butterflies, but the Naheyans responded better to kindness and understanding. It wasn’t the Dalek way, but utilising this made Leef’s job a lot easier. One day he hoped to discuss his new age philosophies with the Supreme Dalek in the hope that other dalek governors could adopt it too. With more cooperative subjects it would improve efficiency and contribute towards the betterment of the Third Dalek Empire.
Yes he had a fine job, but his mind kept flicking back to the good ol’ days. Lately his tentacles started tingling at the thought of battle. Sure he was old, but he wanted to see action again. He wanted to feel the thrill of exterminating lesser species. He wanted to feel adrenaline flow around his body as he moved in for the kill. He wanted to be a Dalek Soldier again. Fortunately for Leef, he was in luck.
There was a knock at his door.
“En-ter!” Into the room glided a black dalek with silver spheres. Leef recognised him immediately. It was Jova – the current head of the SSC.
“Hello Jova. How are you?” asked Leef. During his time on Naheya Leef had learned the value of pleasantries, but Jova just stared at him.
“Leef. I need you. The Galactic Federation is getting too powerful. For the sake of the Dalek Empire we need to exterminate their key personnel.” Leef didn’t respond, forcing Jova to continue. “The SSC has selected you for one last mission. You are to exterminate Ambassador Alpha Centauri!”
Inside his casing, Leef was nodding his head. Actually, as he didn’t have a head it was more a case of his whole body shaking around. He had seen this scenario before – the retired professional coming out of retirement for one last job. He once worked undercover as a bar tender in New Zealand for two years (the locals didn’t notice anything unusual about the short bar tender who had a tendency to shout “in-tox-i-cate” at random intervals. If anyone ever asked about his unusual accent he just said he was Hungarian) and in that time he had watched plenty of Earth television. This situation was a familiar plot device and he was excited at the opportunity being presented to him. This was his
chance. One more chance for glory!! Alpha Centauri had to die!
Whilst Dalek Leef formulates his plan, I’ll tell you a little bit about Alpha Centauri. Firstly, Alpha Centauri is not her real name. She was so devoted to representing her solar system that she changed her name to Alpha Centauri (that being the name of the binary star system that she comes from). And she isn’t really a she. She’s a hermaphrodite hexapod, though with attractive features and the high pitched voice it is easier
to think of her as a she. And her appearance? Her head is circular, with one giant eye, flowing from which are several large veins which have increased in size as she has gotten older. Her body is roughly cylindrical, with six tentacles extending from her chest, and over the top half of her body she wears a knitted purple cardigan. She used to wear a cape, but she felt the cold a lot more now that she’s over 140 and the cardigan keeps her warm.
Leef’s plan was simple enough. He had enlisted Fifi, a Naheyan princess, to help him. He always had a suspicion that his kindness would pay off one day. He had convinced her to contact the Galactic Federation to set up a meeting to enquire about whether the Federation could help the Naheyans to expel the Daleks. The Federation, not liking daleks, promptly invited her to their Northern Headquarters for a meeting on the following Tuesday. Tuesday quickly came, and Fifi and Leef boarded the Naheyan spacecraft for the 12 hour journey to Federation HQ. Leef liked Fifi. She didn’t talk much, which allowed him plenty of time to daydream about his past glories. He passed the trip vividly replaying the Battle for Xeon Cluster (a particularly fine battle for Leef – he individually slaughtered over 70 enemy soldiers and led the final, definitive raid. If he were ever to write his autobiography he would devote an entire chapter purely to this fight). As they approached the Head Quarters he focussed on his plan. Fifi would go and have a meeting with some Federation Delegates. While the meeting was taking place, he would stealthily exit the craft and make his way to Alpha Centauri’s living quarters. Once inside he would set his trap and wait.
“Look! There it is!” cried Fifi in a high pitched squeak. It was the first thing she had said all trip. She pointed out of the port side window. Leef looked. He couldn’t believe it. There, floating in space was the Federation Headquarters. A giant, 2km long building sized replica of Alpha Centauri, the gigantic eye staring ominously at all the space activity happening outside. The craft rose and made for a docking bay built into the side of one of the tentacles.
Fifi had been gone twenty minutes. It was time for action. Leef opened the door and made his way through the airlock and onto the space station. He glided forward and turned right at the end of the corridor. The mission called for secrecy. He was not to be seen. He turned another corner and saw a humanoid guard walking towards him. Damn! Before the guard could react Leef had pointed his gun at him and fired. WIIZZZZ! The guard groaned and toppled backwards. I’ve still got it, thought Leef, but now he had to hide the corpse. The last thing he wanted was for it to be discovered and the alarm to be raised. He picked up the body and carried it forwards, round a corner, down the passageway, to the right, left, left and forwards a little bit more until he found a small closet set into the wall. He opened the door and shoved the body inside.
“Halt! Dalek!” Leef looked. There was another guard, laser pistol pointing at him. VWRRRP! He could feel the casing beneath his plunger heat up, but ultimately the shot did nothing. He raised his own gun, directing it at the guard’s heart. The guard fired again, slightly higher this time, but still nothing happened. Leef could see fear in the guard’s eyes now. It made him feel good. He was feeding off that fear. He paused. The guard didn’t move. He waited another second. And another. The guard’s fear was overwhelming now. Then Leef fired. Two minutes later, that body also was hidden away in the closet. Even though he was not supposed to have any emotions, Leef was enjoying this. He had been away from fighting for too long. He had to suppress his desire for more extermination though. He had to return to stealth mode. He expertly navigated the giant sized Alpha Centauri space station, went up several floors and arrived at the living quarters.
He crept down the hall. If Daleks had toes then he would be tiptoeing down the corridor. Unfortunately they don’t so he was gliding along at half power (and half noise). He arrived at a red, fluffy door with AC embroidered into it in purple fur. He raised his plunger over the lock. It required a combination. He went through all possible combinations until it clicked open. Leef glanced at the monitor to see the password. Peladon. Even though Alpha’s missions there ended long ago she still had a soft spot for that planet. The old softy!
Leef entered the room. Alpha’s lounge was circular, with doors leading off to a kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. The lounge was a continuation of the door. Ref fur lined the walls, but they were dominated by pictures and pictures of Alpha Centauri. Alpha Centauri on holiday, Alpha Centauri receiving awards, Alpha Centauri with various Heads of State…..It was Alpha Centauri overload! With all these giant Alpha eyes staring
out at the pictures Leef began to feel as though he was being watched. He saw that Alpha Centauri had left a jug of lemonade on the table. He glided towards it, ready to poison it, but realised he had left the sarin capsule in the rocket. Just then, he heard voices outside. One was high pitched and shrilly. Definitely Alpha Centauri’s. They voices halted outside the door. Any moment Alpha was going to enter. Quickly he moved across the room and into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him, leaving only a little slit for him to see and fire through.
Alpha Centauri entered. She looked left and right and moved towards the lemonade on the table. She was coming into the firing line. Closer….closer…Leef fired. He watched the ray from his gun shoot towards Alpha Centauri. To his astonishment it went straight through and
scorched the wall behind her. The hologram of Alpha vanished and a moment later the door to the bathroom slid shut and locked. Leef mentally cursed. The hexapod must have suspected something. Had Fifi confessed? He could hear Alpha’s (the real Alpha Centauri) loud shrieking from outside the quarters.
“Guards! Guards! Come immediately! There’s an intruder in my room” Leef fired at the lock on the door. Nothing happened. He was trapped. He thought he could hear some heavy breathing coming from the corridor outside. The guards were arriving, and these guards weren’t those feeble humanoids he dealt with earlier. These were Ice Warriors. Sure he could exterminate one or two of them, but eventually he’d be overpowered. A
blaze of glory would be a fine death, but he decided on retreating. Not really retreating he told himself. A strategic withdrawal. His mission was to kill Alpha Centauri. If he survived this then he could complete his mission later. He glided over to the opposite wall. If he was correct then this wall doubled as part of the exterior of the giant Alpha Centauri shaped space station. His casing around his plunger separated and the plunger dropped to the ground. From within his heat powered cutting tool came forward to take its place, and the casing fused back together again around it. Be prepared, he thought. That was the motto of the SSC. Actually their motto was be prepared, and if all else fails exterminate, exterminate, exterminate, but Leef always thought that was too long, especially considering he had it carved onto his casing below his gun (he got the idea from seeing humans getting tattoos of Latin phrases back on Earth). He began cutting a hole in the space station. Slowly at first, but it grew bigger. He could feel the atmosphere around him being sucked out. He continued to cut, and could hear voices in Alpha’s lounge now. If they opened the door to the bathroom then they’d die from oxygen deprivation. A piece of the station fell away, leaving enough of a hole for him to fly through, and he exited, his mission not unsuccessful; merely postponed.
Several floors above, in the eye section of the station, Alpha Centauri was in command. Around her was Commander Valdak (an Ice Lord), and several human technicians sitting at computers. Valdak pointed through the eye at the fleeing dalek.
“And fire…..now!” squealed Alpha Centauri. A technician reached forward and pressed a large red button. The button had been Alpha’s idea. Firing buttons should always be large and red, she had reasoned. With a hiss two missiles were launched, snaking their way towards Leef. In space nobody can hear you scream. Nor can they hear missiles flying towards them. As such, Leef had no idea that his life was about to terminate.
Three….two…one……BANG!!
“Yesssssssssssss,” cried Valdak.
“Got him,” cheered Alpha, giving Valdak a high-five with one of her tentacles. This wasn’t the first attempt on her life. Indeed, there had been many, and as she grew older she began to relish defeating each assassination attempt. And after watching the dusty remains of Leef slowly begin to drift into space she turned around and left the room to get back to her work.
What can I say about Dalek Leef? He was a hero, an inspiration to many daleks scattered about the cosmos. He was brave, determined and committed to the dalek cause. He was well liked and respected among his peers. On the battlefield his fellow soldiers looked up to him like an elder brother or a father. His cheerful countenance helped lift the spirits of many a dalek and Naheya will be a poorer place without him.
RIP Dalek Leef.