Braised Hearts - Celebrating the Jon Pertwee Recipe Book
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Roll With It

Meat Stack was upset. He long-term partner Sgt John Benton had just split up with him. There was only one thing that he could do now - become a renaissance painter.

The only problem was that he couldn't paint.


***


WUUUUU-UUU-UUU
WUUUUU-UUU-UUU
WUUUUU-UUU-UUU

The TARDIS landed in the middle of Hyde Park. The Doctor, now in his latest incarnation which resembles earth actor Peter Capaldi, stepped forth, followed closely by the sexy Clara. From behind the TARDIS a primitive growl erupted from a tree. The duo turned around. A savage jumped to the ground. He panted heavily whilst Clara screamed so hard her knickers fell down from beneath her lovely blue skirt. The Doctor giggled at the sight of her underwear. The savage picked up his mace. Dr Who stared at him quizzically, trying to figure out where he had seen him before...


***


Somewhere in the Middle East (the exact location must remain vague) Sutekh was on the rampage. He demolished all villages in front of him, killing millions of innocent people in the process. But because this wasn't happening in the USA or Europe nobody gave a damn 


***

"Suthers?" asked the Doctor.

The savage stopped. It was indeed Suthers, a long-time foe of the Doctor and the detective Sexy Voord.

But the pause was momentary. Suthers picked his nose and started to move menacingly towards the Doctor and Clara. Suddenly from behind him Sgt Benton sprinted forwards and swung a frying pan at the back of Suthers's head. THWACCK!! Suthers fell forward, knocked unconscious from the blow.

"Doctor, I've made a terrible mistake," said Benton. "I've split with my lover. I wish I hadn't. Please help me win him back."

"It's too late for that John," replied Meat Stack, also emerging from a forested area near the TARDIS. "I'm over you. I want to travel the universe. See amazing things. I wanna travel with Dr Who."

"Of course you can come," smiled the Doctor.

And with that Meat Stack became the latest companion!
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