The Short Story Featuring Admiral Ackbar
Admiral Ackbar took a seat at the dimly lit comedy club. On stage, standing in front of a red brick wall which may or may not be fake, was tonight's comedian. Bruce! A portly figure, with black glasses and slightly receding hair, Bruce was about to begin, drips of sweat running down the side of his face like a mini-waterfall.
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen," said Bruce the comedian.
"Good evening!" responded Ackbar and the rest of the audience.
"This isn't panto," remarked Bruce in a light hearted manner, slapping his thigh as he said it, in a manner completely different to the way he slaps the thighs of Evening Ladies down the road after the show. The audience laughed at his slight joke. A wave of relief washed over Bruce, and the sweat waterfall stopped flowing. Now he was ready! "Why did Americans elect George W Bush to be their President.....twice?"
Nobody in the audience answered.
"Because they're stupid!" said Bruce.
The audience laughed. It was true - the Yanks are stupid!
"Why are Americans obsessed with the Kardashians?"
Again, the audience were flummoxed.
"Because they're stupid!" repeated Bruce.
The audience chuckled. Again, Bruce was right - those Americans are stupid.
"Why does it take five Americans to change a lightbulb?
"Because they're stupid!!" roared the audience, now in fits of laughter. Bruce was pleased at how the show was going. But before Bruce could tell another joke the door burst open. Everybody turned around to stare at the interruption.
It was Super America Man. An overweight, balding dude who burped loudly.
"No more jokes from you, you dull English person," said Super America Man.
There was sounds from behind the stage. Ackbar could sense what was happening.
"It's a trap!" said Admiral Ackbar, but it was too late for Super America Man. Sexy Voord and her assistant Virat were now on the stage. Sexy Voord pointed, and Virat shot a net at Super America Man, catching him. He tried to escape but he fell over and broke his ankle.
It transpires that Super America Man was a drug dealer who's dealings had ruined many lives. The world was thankful to brave Bruce, Sexy Voord and Virat for teaming up to bring the evil Super America Man to justice.
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen," said Bruce the comedian.
"Good evening!" responded Ackbar and the rest of the audience.
"This isn't panto," remarked Bruce in a light hearted manner, slapping his thigh as he said it, in a manner completely different to the way he slaps the thighs of Evening Ladies down the road after the show. The audience laughed at his slight joke. A wave of relief washed over Bruce, and the sweat waterfall stopped flowing. Now he was ready! "Why did Americans elect George W Bush to be their President.....twice?"
Nobody in the audience answered.
"Because they're stupid!" said Bruce.
The audience laughed. It was true - the Yanks are stupid!
"Why are Americans obsessed with the Kardashians?"
Again, the audience were flummoxed.
"Because they're stupid!" repeated Bruce.
The audience chuckled. Again, Bruce was right - those Americans are stupid.
"Why does it take five Americans to change a lightbulb?
"Because they're stupid!!" roared the audience, now in fits of laughter. Bruce was pleased at how the show was going. But before Bruce could tell another joke the door burst open. Everybody turned around to stare at the interruption.
It was Super America Man. An overweight, balding dude who burped loudly.
"No more jokes from you, you dull English person," said Super America Man.
There was sounds from behind the stage. Ackbar could sense what was happening.
"It's a trap!" said Admiral Ackbar, but it was too late for Super America Man. Sexy Voord and her assistant Virat were now on the stage. Sexy Voord pointed, and Virat shot a net at Super America Man, catching him. He tried to escape but he fell over and broke his ankle.
It transpires that Super America Man was a drug dealer who's dealings had ruined many lives. The world was thankful to brave Bruce, Sexy Voord and Virat for teaming up to bring the evil Super America Man to justice.