Braised Hearts - Celebrating the Jon Pertwee Recipe Book
Comrade's super awesome Jon Pertwee Recipe Book website!
  • Home
  • Blog
  • The Endorsement
  • The Official Word
  • Recipes
    • Banana Dolittle
    • Tripe Casserole
    • Scotch Eggs
    • Viennese Biscuits
    • Beefburger Nests
    • Eccles Cakes
    • Southern Fish Bake
    • Cheese Baked Potatoes
    • Cheese Whispers
    • Mount Pleasant Cake
  • Reviews
  • The Lost Companions
  • Fan Fiction
    • The Super Sleuth Series >
      • Super Sleuth
      • Super Sleuth 2: Sleuth Harder
      • Super Sleuth 3: Meet the Paternosters
      • Super Sleuth 4: The Evil Astronomer
      • Super Sleuth 5: The Evil Astronomer Returns
      • Super Sleuth 6: Floppy
      • Super Sleuth 7: Alpha and Friends
      • Super Sleuth 8: The Devil Went Down to Auckland
      • The Trouble With Ghosts
      • LOL RIP
    • The Wuuuuu-uuu-uuu trilogy >
      • Wuuuuu-uuu-uuu
      • The Return
      • Rise of the Reapers
    • The Adventures of Dinosaur Who >
      • Dr Who Goes to New York
      • the Poo in Space
      • All Black Dinosaur
      • Diamonds are Forever
      • Alpha and Friends
    • The tales of Life of a Sensuous Adric >
      • Life of a Sensuous Adric
      • Life of a Sensuous Adric 2
      • Life of a Sensuous Adric 3
    • A Night on Gallifrey
    • Dalek Leef
    • Laundry Day
    • Assimilation Cubed
    • The Trouble With Ghosts
    • If Only She Had Knees
    • Floppy's Sister
    • LOL RIP
    • They Had To Die
    • Mighty Genghis Khan
    • Mighty Genghis Khan - the Sequel!
    • For Better or For Worse
    • Dr Who Goes to the Beach
    • The Curse of the Gugelhuff
    • How Benton Became Gay
    • Flight Crew
    • The Day the Music Died
    • Go To Sleep
    • Bouffant
    • The Future of Porridge
    • Jet Ski
    • Suffragette City
    • Dividing By Zero
    • Swimming Pool
    • Roll With It
    • Meat Stack Explores the TARDIS
    • The Funeral
    • There's an App For That
    • Bang Bang
    • The Streak
    • Regan the Elephant
    • Mein Kampf
    • Don't Look Back in Anger
    • Heart
    • Aussie Eggs
    • Broken Faith
    • The Short Story Featuring Admiral Ackbar
    • Curse of the Piwakawaka
    • Don't Stop Believin'
    • Songbird
    • They Are Coming
    • Getting the Best of All Worlds
  • The Missing Recipes
  • Doctor Who stories
    • TV Comic Holiday Special 1970
    • The Daleks Destroy the Zomites
    • The Daleks Are Foiled
    • The Prehistoric Monster
    • Escape From the Aquafien
    • Dr Who on Zaos
    • Doctor - Who and the Daleks (Part 1)
    • Doctor - Who and the Daleks (Part 2)
  • Artwork
    • J.P.'s Rejected Recipe Book Endorsement
    • Self Portrait
    • The Dinosaur and the Shark
    • It's a Dalek!
    • The Church. And God-zilla
    • Target Novelisation
    • Self Portrait 2
    • Clara the Mermaid
    • Crazy (or not?) Pokemon fan
    • Monsters
    • Before and After
    • Brendan the Rat's Digestive System Found in his Visceral Cavity
    • Top View of a Dead Dissected Locusta migratoria
    • External Features of a Caranx georgianus
    • A New Dimension
    • K-9
    • Seascape
    • Waaah!!
    • Dinoturtle
    • Poliwhirl
    • Cat With Glasses
    • Teddy Bear
    • Alpha Centauri Portrait
    • This Is A Test
    • 4.5/5
    • Marae
  • Autographs
    • The Doctor >
      • Jon Pertwee
      • Tom Baker
      • Peter Davison
      • Colin Baker
      • Sylvester McCoy
      • Paul McGann
    • Companion >
      • Frazer Hines
      • Nicholas Courtney
      • Louise Jameson
      • Mary Tamm
      • Lalla Ward
      • Matthew Waterhouse
      • Sophie Aldred
      • John Barrowman
      • Jenna Coleman
    • Guest Star >
      • Jacqueline Pearce
      • William Gaunt
      • Richard Dawkins
      • Brian Cox
      • Michael Troughton
    • Other >
      • Andrew Cartmel
  • Links
  • A rival cookbook?

Jet Ski

Wooosh!!

Garr sped past on a jet ski, his right hand clutching a chain of pearls, not unlike the ones that Marge Simpson wears. He turned around to check on his pursuer. Behind him, 20 yards away was Sexy Voord, also on a jet ski.

"You won't get away with this," she shouted at Garr.

"Yes I will!" replied Garr. He spun his jet ski 180 degrees and woooshed past Sexy Voord before she could react. With a sigh, she skidded to a halt and turned around too. Ahead, Garr curved away from Sexy Voord's assistants (Kim and Aidan).

Garr kept riding, and noticed his petrol gauge was getting low. Uh oh!! His jewellery heist was in danger of failing. He turned his craft towards land and hoped he had enough gas to get back.

"You won't get away with this," repeated Sexy Voord.

Garr turned to reply. "Shut up, you stinky old Voor-" Garr didn't finish his sentence because he crashed his jet ski. Silly Garr. Whilst distracted, he had accidentally driven into a pod of endangered Maui's Dolphins. Garr fell off and the jet ski struck another two dolphins. The force of the collision loosened Garr's grip of the pearls and they went flying....

...into Sexy Voord's outstretched hand. She slowed her jet ski to a stop, and looked down pityingly at Garr who was now floating in a patch of water red from the blood of the mutilated dolphins. He saw that one of the dolphins had been beheaded in the accident. He tried to put on the head in a stupid attempt to hide from Sexy Voord, but he couldn't. The insides of the dolphin were still in it so he couldn't put the head on.

"All right boys, arrest him," said Sexy Voord to her guards as they pulled up alongside her. Aidan jumped into the water to retrieve Garr. He placed Garr on Kim's jet ski, and Kim hand cuffed, and gagged him.

As they returned to shore, Kim turned towards Aidan. "One of my friends knows a guy who broke up with a girl, then she got a new boyfriend. The old one then got some big dudes to go around and beat up the new boyfriend."

Aidan was speechless.

Kim continued. "My sister says that was wrong. She said if you've got a problem you should deal with it yourself; not get someone else to do it for you."

Aidan didn't know what to say. He just thought of the pizza he was having that evening. Kim turned to Garr and repeated his little tale. Garr was gagged so he couldn't reply. Garr just thought about how foolish his plan to steal the pearls was.
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.